Posts Tagged ‘marriage tips’

Seriously, we’re failing so miserably at marriage. So, let’s change it.

 

My job as the Modern Monogomist, is in part, to raise awareness about the importance of the commitment we make to the person with whom we choose to take our life journey.

 

Here’s an interesting fact: thousands of years ago, marriage was a business transaction – a way to protect yourself or a way to perpetuate the species. “Love” never came into play –au contraire. In China, love was seen as a threat; in India, lovers were deemed anti-social; in Africa, love was alienating and in Greece, love was considered a mental illness. Not until the 1500s did marriage become something that was celebrated. Somewhere, along the lines, that all changed. But, we’ve went from one extreme to another. Let me explain.

 

We are expected to maintain this intense, profound, happily-ever-after for the rest of our natural lives, yet we are left on our own to figure out how to do it successfully.

 

What if we treated everything in our life like we do marriage?

 

We would be unprepared; we would be completely unrealistic and irresponsible; we would base everything relating to our lives on an attraction that happens because of chemicals that wear off sooner than we realize. Just like any strong building, marriage needs a strong foundation.

 

What if marriage came with a better foundation? What if we lived in a world where happily-ever-after was redefined? A world where love – realistic love – ruled the day?

 

What if?

 

What do you think? Leave us a comment and let us know. Share on your Facebook page, too!
Stay tuned for Part #2.

 

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Did you know that over 75% of the way we relate to one another is based on non-verbal communication? For such a long time, all we’ve heard from “relationship gurus” is that “good communication is the key to a successful relationship.” Unfortunately, most of the time they either don’t elaborate on what they mean or they try to teach us “communication skills” that will do the trick.

Granted, knowing how to give and receive verbally is an important skill to have in order to get along at your optimal level… but, research says that what is even more important is to be able to use your non-verbal skill to seal the deal!

Let’s take a closer look at some non-verbal communications we may not be being conscious of when hangin’ with our honey:

1. Posture makes a huge statement when relating to others. If you’re slouched over and leaning back, what are you saying? To me, it means that you’re disinterested, tired, and unfocused on what’s going on. On the other hand, if you’re sitting up straight and leaning in to your lover, without saying a word you’re saying, “I want to be close to you and see every feature that your face has to offer.” Be careful not to be too much in their face though… give them some personal space every now and then …LOL..
2. That brings us to facial expressions. Scene: You’re out together at a good friend’s birthday party. You glance across the room and notice your partner standing at the bar. As he/she is about to turn their head in your direction, you decide you’d like to send them a message with a look. What do you do? Look in the mirror and practice facial expressions that send a message that you’d want your honey to see. Maybe a look that says, “I am the luckiest person in the world to be here with you! You are so sexy!” Then, try it next time you’re out… And hey, at the very least, you’ll get a good laugh out of it when you tell them about your plan later. :o)
3. A private hand signal is an amazing tool for couples to use to communicate without speaking. My honey and I have a handshake that we use to remind us not to argue about petty things. If either of us feels anger being triggered, we take a deep breath and stick out our hand to do the handshake. When we see that hand, we know what it means and it works almost every time!
4. Sweet gestures say more then any words could EVER say! When sharing a dessert, giving your honey the last bite. It tells them they’re more important than the food. Walking to the front door when you hear your spouse coming home after work and greeting them with a big smile, kiss and hug can set the stage for a lovely evening together. One of the best gestures is to send a fun gift basket or floral arrangement to your honey’s work. It feels good when co-workers know that you are truly loved!

So remember, talking can sometimes be over rated. Show your love more then you say it and watch as your relationship gets better and better! PS - Can you help us spread the word and let others know about the love we share on this blog?