Archive for the ‘Keeping it Spicy’ Category

Couples therapy doesn’t work!!

And yes, I’ve dedicated my entire professional career to teaching people how to love.

But the fact is, couples therapy doesn’t work. They come out of counseling closer to splitting than when they went in!

It’s not that the therapy itself is ineffective.

Nope! It’s because most couples wait until there’s something glaringly wrong in their relationship before they ask for help or receive relationship education. Here’s an example: if you wait to get a cavity before you go to the dentist, you may be in for a root canal (and a world of pain) …or if you wait long enough, you could even lose that tooth. It’s the same principle with your relationship.

By putting one piece of knowledge into action – it doesn’t have to be like that. In fact, with this one piece of knowledge, you could have all your friends, family and the whole neighborhood asking themselves, “How do they stay so in love? What are they doing differently?”

So here it is… the MOST important thing you need to know to set yourself up for the most successful relationship that you’re capable of… and apart from the more than half of couples who either get divorced or stay together in an unhappy relationship!

*As early on in the relationship as you can, while you’re still excited about one another, set at least an hour a week aside to learn something new or do something different for the relationship.*

These days, you don’t even need to leave the comfort of your own living room to get information. It’s simple, fun and something you can look forward to. During this one hour of time, read a love story together, take an online seminar, talk to a couple that’s been together for a while and find out their secrets. It may seem weird at first (anything new usually is) but it means you’ll be closer and more in love than you thought possible.

Once you feel what a big difference it begins to make over the long-term, you’ll be kicking yourself for not doing it up until now!

What are some of the ideas you do, or have done, to be as in love as you are today?

PS – Stay tuned because in February I am going to be dishing out all kinds of simple secrets on how to stay madly in love with your partner. (And it’s not your mother’s relationship advice!)

PPS - If you love this article and have a friend who would benefit, share the love!

1. Follow through with something you said you would do, but never did.
2. Show him exactly how to please you.
3. Initiate a talk about painful or pleasurable memories of people and situations from your childhood together
4. When you feel anger towards him, take a step back for 5 minutes. Look first at yourself and what you may have contributed to the anger.
5. Be conscious of your self-talk after an argument (guess what? We can convince ourselves of almost anything when we’re angry!).
6. Acknowledge and challenge your limiting beliefs about the way you feel about him.
7. Do NOT talk to your friends or family in a negative way about your relationship issues.
8. Learn Tantra ASAP.
9. Feed him the last bite of that yummy dessert.
10. Pay attention to the little things he likes- like his favorite candy or beverage. Surprise him with them occasionally.
11. Defend him if someone says something negative about him.
12. Focus on the things you love about him and who he really is instead of wishing he did “this” or had “that”.
13. Be sure to welcome him home enthusiastically and warmly with affection.
14. Cater to his inner-child within every once in a while (but avoid being Mommy… that’s just a turn off).
15. Talk about things that interest him, like his favorite team or TV show.
16. Support his goals and dreams by encouraging him to talk about them more.
17. Let him retreat to his man cave.
18. Control your emotions, don’t let them control you.
19. Surprise him with special thoughtful gifts from time to time.
20. Forgive.
21. Make him feel like a man.
22. Be trustworthy.
23. Have discretion about private affairs.
24. Show commitment by being consistent with your words and actions.
25. Be transparent.
26. Respect and take care of his belongings.
27. Support his relationships with his friends and family.
28. Be his shoulder to lean on.
29. Find out what drew him to you, and don’t ever lose it!
30. Be creative and switch things up between the sheets.
31. Always take care of your personal hygiene.
32. Giving him your full, undivided attention when he’s speaking.
33. Be a seductress at least once a week (even if you don’t feel like it at first.)
34. Display just the right amount of jealousy, but NEVER go overboard.

What will you do this week to start getting closer to your guy? Let us know!

PS - Please share on your Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest page with friends you know could use these tips!